In Loving Memory of Melissa Dwyer 6-7-13

loving memory of melissa

The Chronic Migraine Awareness Group (CMA) lost a kind, warm, loving, beautiful and generous soul this past Friday. But her family has lost so much more-a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece and best friend. After a long battle with Chronic Migraines and Chronic Illness, she could no longer take the pain anymore. As a close-knit online community we are truly devastated by her loss. A tragic loss that could have been prevented if there were more awareness of the debilitating pain of Chronic Migraine Disease-that the pain is real and it takes a toll on a person’s life as the pain and suffering is never-ending. People need to realize that Migraines are not “just a headache”. It is a REAL neurological disease that not only involves excruciating head pain, but has many other symptoms as well: Partial or total loss of peripheral vision in 1 eye, dizziness/vertigo, persistent nausea, chills, stomach pain, painful stimuli to light, sound and smell. The list goes on. Even those in the Medical Profession have stigmatized Chronic Migraine and when a sufferer goes to the ER when their at home rescue meds fail, oftentimes they are turned away after a long wait and treated with contempt and disbelief-they (we) are often treated as drug seekers and treatment to ease the pain is withheld. Even with primary care, neurologists and headache specialists the standard of care for Migraine Disease is poor, to say the least. So everyone with this dreaded disease is often cut off and left to suffer alone, which adds to the despair.

Melissa Dwyer

Melissa reached her breaking point, and even though she counted on her mom as her true friend who stuck by her through thick and thin, she still could not find relief from her chronic non-stop suffering and chronic pain. This is a tragedy that could have been avoided if there were better awareness and better treatment and medical care for this God awful disease. I pray they find it soon before we lose another beautiful, loving and precious soul. God now has a beautiful angel, but she has gone far too soon. Prayers to her mother and the rest of her surviving family and friends as they try to cope with this senseless tragic loss. And we in the CMA community also will try to come to terms with this tragedy and will not let Melissa’s death be in vain. God’s Speed Melissa. RIP.

4 thoughts on “In Loving Memory of Melissa Dwyer 6-7-13

    • All you can do is love and support her unconditionally. Make sure she has good medical treatment. Go with her to her appointments and ask questions about her care and options and stress to the doctor how devastating an effect this disease has on her. Bear in mind there is no cure for Migraine. They only have just a limited few medicines that are designed specifically for Migraines as abortive meds only. As preventive meds go they use hand-me-down meds that were designed for other diseases and disorders like anti-seizure, Alzheimer’s, depression, anxiety, etc. They are used “off label” as preventives. It usually takes 3 months for a medicine to get fully into your system for it to take effect and to know if it will work or not. If it isn’t then it’s time to stress to the doctor she needs a change. There are alternative therapies as well that may help w/some people like Acupuncture, Acupressure, Chiropractic, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Biofeedback etc. That is to be used in addition to regular medical care. There is also Botox injections for Migraines now. It is safe and can take 2-3 sessions to take full effect. They have nerve decompression surgery, neurotransmitters as well when all other options fail. To learn more about migraine types, medications, treatment options the best start is to go to But you both need to realize you are NOT alone, and she needs to know that as well. You can reach out to the Migraine community and they will give you support and options to try. You can go to this site for questions as well: and On Face Book you can ask to join some closed support groups which means you ask to join. A really great group is Chronic Migraine Awareness (CMA).

      I hope some of these answers and sources can give you the help and support you need. If she is suffering from depression it is so very important that she get professional help. There is no shame to admitting when things are overwhelming and you cannot cope or your having a hard time coping. Migraine Disease, along with any other Chronic Pain Disorder, goes hand-in-hand with depression. If the depression is overlooked or ignored it could possibly lead to tragic circumstances. And there is NO shame to admit if one is depressed. We are working hard in the CMA community to get rid of the stigma of Migraines and Depression and make people more aware it’s NOT “just a headache” and NO it’s not “all in your head”. You may have to push her to admit her feelings, but keeping the line of communication open and strong is so very important.

      My prayers, best wishes to you in this difficult journey. Sending you Love, Hugs and many prayers.

    • I didn’t know Melissa but I read about her death. I have had several serious migraines where nothing stopped the pain and I would get to the ER with sunglasses and a pillow over my head.vomitting and every step was unbearable. They didn’ t care. Get up, take a urine test, can’t give you anything for pain until you do. Waiting for “tox screens” to make sure I wasn’t on drugs. I also suffer from advanced Crohns disease. I had an obstruction and was blowing up, and still no one cared. My night nurse would give me my injections of morphine directly in my arm instead if through the IV like everyone else, and i wondered why only her shots never took the pain away. Found out after I complained that she was cutting the morphine and using the other for herself. Many times i wanted to throw in the towel. Pain is not a joke. I am on a small dose of vicodin, every month and the pharmacist plays
      God, he will not fill it on the 29 th day, has to be on the 30 th, bottom line is no one cares anymore. Except the people that actually have the pain. I hope that Melissas family finds some comfort in knowing that she is no longer in this unbearable pain. She wasn’t in control of the pain but she was in control of how to make it stop. So. I don’t look at this as suicide, it shouldn’t have gotten this far,but she did what I believe anyone would do after a certain point. God bless her and i hope she is now happy and pain free.

      • I am so sorry for all the suffering this horrible disease is causing, especially in our young ones! Life is hard enough as it is and then to put a chronic disease on their shoulders is too much! Society and the Medical Profession like to turn a blind eye to us and discount us as not legitimate diseases or disorders, but the pain is all too real-both physically and emotionally. I pray that all those who suffer can get the support they need so that they don’t have to seek this method as their only way out of the suffering. Blessings to you all. Julie

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