Migraine Blog Challenge Day# 2 (June 2, 2013)
X-Men: Migraine and Headache Disorders Super Heroes: Who in your life goes above and beyond the call of duty and how?
I know I have vented about the bad times with my spouse, my significant other, about his oftentimes lack of support and consideration. When we got married in 1982 none of us knew that Migraine Disease would become a major force to be reckoned with in our lives together. At first when it was sporadic it was a minor nuisance. Since early 2010 when it became daily chronic Migraines after a host of other things, it was like the Domino effect and things came tumbling down.
We did have our ups and downs before then but this became a real challenge. At first he tried to be supportive but he gets very easily frustrated and in his family they never dealt with chronic illness very well, so he wasn’t sure really what to do and how to do it. I became frustrated as well and we would both take it out on each other. He became angry when there appeared to be no end in sight and he took it out on me. As a result I retreated and became hurt, angry and resentful. Resentful for his lack of emotional support and angry for the way his mother raised her children-not knowing how to give loving and emotional support.
I did make excuses saying it was how he was raised and how he can change if he wanted to, but he is very stubborn. Change doesn’t come easy for him or his family. But very slowly this past month I have seen a change. He’s slowly showing and voicing concern and finally recognizing I have been and am currently doing all that I can to try to get better and how it’s all been an uphill struggle. He sees how depressed and frustrated I am and see’s the toll it’s taken on me emotionally as well as physically. He has been doing little things here and there to try to alleviate my pain by doing dishes a couple of times and taking care of the dogs when I can’t get up in time to let them in and out. He’s picked up things for me at the store without my asking and offers to pick up my RX’s for me on his way home from work.
He has even forced himself to eat leftovers the next day without complaining if I’m too sick to cook. Now he doesn’t like to do it often so it’s a work in progress, but we’re making baby steps. But he is starting to show compassion, kindness and emotional support-when I need it the most. Again we’re doing this in baby steps but in the right direction. My daughter has started pitching in and making supper once in a while when she gets home from work and feels up to it, or will do some housework for me-all without being asked. She will check on me often when she’s home and bring me water or refill my ice cap. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
My other super hero isn’t a man but it’s my best friend of 30 years. My constant unyielding and non-judgmental friend, who’s never left my side, always has been there for support, love, encouragement and a very broad shoulder when it’s been needed. She’s taken me to doctor’s appointments when I can’t make it on my own and has picked up grocery items during the week if I’ve run out of things. I could not have made it without her unconditional love and support.
I am blessed to have 3 Super Heroes in my life.
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June, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is issued by FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.